Like I Never Left
by supertempnoble
Summary: All her life all she's wanted was a family. What happens when she finaly gets one but in a very unexpected way? Warning: some uncomfortalbe situations. Might be rated T later on. Later on people from both CSIs! FORMER TILE: Feels Like Love- Natalia
1. Chapter 1

**Ok. So this is my first story! I'm super excited to finally be able to share it with all of you!! I haven't done this before, so please be patient with me. Umm.. I think im sposed to say something bout how i don't own the characters, but really if I did, do you think i would be writing bout wut i WANT to happen to them. NO! I would make it happen so... yeah. Enjoy my first story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

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"Here have another." Ryan stated as he handed me another drink.

"No thanks. I've had way too many already." I had to sit down before I continued. Everything was starting to become blurry. As I looked around, my best friend Calleigh Duquesne came to my aid.

"Natalia what's wrong?"

I had to rush to the bathroom before I puked all over my newly engaged best friend. She, of course, followed & held my hair.

"Ya' know, if you do this at my wedding, you will be fired as my made of honor." I nodded my head. I knew that I was going to be her made of honor. She didn't even have to ask. We promised each other that when we got married, we would be right next to each other.

"I think I need to go home." Calleigh laughed.

"Yeah sweetheart, I think you do. Let me tell Eric and I'll drive you home."

I shook my head. "No. you stay with Eric. It's your day. I can find someone else to drive me home."

I immediately thought of Ryan. He was the one who had been handing me drinks all night. But I am the one who had been stupid enough to drink all of them. If I had to, I would beat him up until he agreed to drive me home. He agreed with minimal beating. After making sure it was ok to leave his car at Calleigh's for the night, I gave him my keys. As we got in the car, Cal came out to say goodbye.

"Now Ryan, get my made of honor home safely or I might hurt you. Got it?"

He nodded his head, clearly terrified by her threat. He took one last look at her, and drove away.

I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up the next morning in my bed. As I turned to my clock, realized that it was 10 and I was late for work! I called Calleigh to tell her that I was coming in immediately. She told me to meet her at Dade Memorial hospital. We had a victim who was still alive...for now.

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***What do you think so far? I know that it's really short but there's LOTS more to come. Please review!!***


	2. Chapter 2

**read my story. So thanks. Once again if I owned the show, Natalia would have been in the last episode!! Where was she?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need my Natalia fix actually so this is chapter 2. Now i know that its kinda long but there is a story in all this nothingness. You just have to read. Thanks very much for all the great reviews. It felt really good to have people like my story.**

A month and six cases later, I was back where I stared, puking my guts out in the bathroom. "Hey Nat," called Calleigh as I walked out of the bathroom back to my DNA lab. "are you feeling any better?" I shook my head no, which I immediately regretted as it gave my a splitting headache.

"I'm going to the doctor today. I have an appointment at 4. Would you be able to come with? I don't wanna face the doctor alone if i t turns out to be something really embarrassing.? She checked her watch and nodded yes. As Eric walked up behind his bride-to-be, I turned around, rolled my eyes as I heard him say how much he loved her, and walked into DNA.

"Nat. Natie. Natalia!" as I sat up,I realized that it was almost four.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked standing up from the table I had just been resting my head on.

"For about three hours. You fell asleep right after you came in here. Are you ready to go? I can drive if you want o sleep on the way there." We walked to the locker room to grab our stuff and headed out to the car.

The waiting room was very quiet. there was a big fish tannk in the middle of the room filled with many beautiful tropical fish. Calleigh and I only had to wait ten minutes before the nurse called my name.

"Uh-oh. I think I'm gunna puke again. Where's the bathroom?" I asked the nurse.

"Down the hall to the right." she replied.

"Are you ok Nat? You don't look so well." Calleigh looked concerned.

"I'm ok but I need to go to the bathroom. So if you would wait here, that would be wonderful." And I took off running for the bathroom.

When I got back into the exam room, Calleigh looked at me with her worried face. "Don't give me that look Cal, I know what you're thinking and I cant be. It's been almost six months. There's no way I'm- I just can't be ok?!"

What I didn't want to reviel to my best friend, was that I had had a feeling that everything was changing. Things were just off about me, they had been for a few weeks. Everything just seemed... different.

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**How was that? I know that its supposed ta be a Jessy/Natalia story & it will be. there's some drama first, then Jessy comes to save the day. Please review!!!**


	3. chapter 3

**OK so I might not be able to update as fast as I have been cuz of school & stuff like that so be patient with me. Once again... DON'T OWN ANYTHING!!!!! p.s. hoping we'll get to see Natalia tonight!!! looks super duper good. can't wait!!!!!!!! OK.. enough with the me know if you like it. there might be some uncomfortable situations in this one so let me know how you feel. So chapter 3... Little bit uneasy about this one.**

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Four weeks and three days. It had been exactly thirty-one days since... I knew because that was the day of Calleigh and Eric's party. The day I was too drunk to drive my self home. The day Ryan drove me home. The day Ryan... got me pregnant. I couldn't stop staring at the little picture in my hands. It was a small picture but what was on it... seemed a whole lot bigger to me.

As we walked out of the clinic and headed for the car, I couldn't look my best friend, the person that had always been there for me, who I told everything to, who I trusted with my life, in the eyes. I just kept staring at that little piece of paper in my hands. I hopped into the Hummer, as did Calleigh, only she didn't start the car. Instead she sat there, probably composing her thoughts as I was composing mine. "Who's baby is it?" She finally asked.

"I-I don't know. I think it might be Ryan's but..." I still couldn't look her in the eyes.

"How could you not know!?" She didn't sound angry, she sounded more... disappointed then anything.

"I-I don't remember what happened after he drove me home. When I woke up he was gone. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so, sorry." All I could do was tell her I was sorry. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my face as I finally confronted her.

Knowing that something was going on, I should have told her weeks ago. Ryan wouldn't work with me, wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't look me in the eye. I knew something was wrong but I didn't say anything, not even to Horatio, who I knew I could trust. I just shrugged it off; didn't bother asking him. It was then that I finally realized why.

I didn't even notice that Calleigh had gotten out of the car and walked over to my side until she opened the door. She grabbed my hands, which were covering the little picture, wrapped her arms around me and embraced me in one of the best hugs I had ever gotten. I leaned into her, put my arms around her, my head on her shoulder, and continued to sob.

When I calmed down, she looked at me and said, "Listen to me Natalia, I **don't **believe this was your fault. I think something happened to you and now you don't remember anything. To me... it sound like GHB. **Now**, I don't wanna believe that Ryan would do something like this but... he does know how to cover it up. We can't be too sure. Do you remember anything? Anything at all?"

I closed my eyes trying to remember. Something. Anything. I wanted to remember; for everything to come flooding back into my memory. Wanted to tell her everything. But... I couldn't remember anything. I felt like a failure. I couldn't recall the smallest detail when it mattered most. When I opened my eyes, Calleigh was standing in front of me, waiting for an answer. I couldn't give her the one she wanted.

"I, uh, I don't remember anything. I'm sorry. Ican't help." I realized that I had become a victim, one just like we saw every day. I didn't wanna be that helpless girl; one who had to find out from us what really happened to her. I was not going to let myself become that girl.

"Natalia! Listen to me! Are you going to keep this baby?" I hadn't thought of what I was going to do. But one look down at that little piece of paper with my baby's picture on it... I knew what I was going to do.

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**What is she going to do??? Guess you'll just have to wait. What did you think of this chapter??? Please review. It means so much to receive all of the great comments. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I'm sorry for the editing, I'll try to do better next time.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanksgiving was... as usual. Nothing special. Whatever. No big deal. Chapter 4!!!! Once again- no $ made from this story.**

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_Staring at that picture in my hands, I knew what I was going to do..._

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"I think, I think I do wanna keep the baby!" I rubbed my tummy as I thought of my life with a baby. Calleigh saw the twinkle in my eye and returned it with the look in hers.

"OK. I'm gunna be here for you. Whatever you need, call me ok?"

I knew that Calleigh genuinely meant that.

As we pulled up in front of MDPD, Calleigh parked the Hummer and hopped out. As we walked to the elevator, Calleigh looked at me and smiled. In the elevator, Cal turned to me with a sense of urgency. "Nat, you can't tell anyone about the baby. I need time to figure out what happened to you that night. Please don't tell anyone. Give me time."

I smiled and nodded even though, I had wanted to run screaming down the halls yelling it at the top of my lungs. There was one person I knew I could trust and that Calleigh would want me to tell. Alexx Woods. I knew that she wouldn't tell anyone.

I had to analyze some DNA evidence that just came in. I ran the evidence through CODIS. As I was waiting for a result, I thought more about the current situation I was in.

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_"Why won't you have another? You love these." Why was he pressing so much? I took the drink from his hand and downed it. _

_"There. Are you happy now? Leave me alone now." As he walked away, he looked like a puppy with his tail between his legs. Shit. I hurt his feelings. "Ryan. Wait." __He practically ran back to me. "You don't have to go. Stay. Sit down." I patted the chair next to me. _

That was the last thing I remembered before he drove me home.

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"Beep, Beep." I got a match on CODIS. I ran to go tell Eric.

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**OHHH.... sorry for the cliffy. Please r&r!!!!!! Big virtual cookies for everyone who does!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for not updating sooner. Been really sick. Thanks for everyone who has been patient with me. Thanks for all the reviews. It makes me feel special. Special shout-out to my bff who finally read my story. *Nat3Cal* hehe. Love ya!! ok lets get on with life and give you the update you've been waiting for. :)**

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As I ran down the hall, I passed Eric.

"Eric! I got the DNA results from the saliva Alexx pulled of the victim. I got a match in CODIS. Does this guy look familiar?" I handed him the folder with my results in it and watched him scan it over.

"Yeah he does. Thanks Natalia. This is the break we needed. I have to go tell Horatio."

Eric ran down the hall and I took the opportunityto head towards the elevators. I pressed the button to go down to go see Alexx.

"Hey Natalia. What are you doing here? This isn't your case is it?"

"No Alexx. It's still Eric's case. I just came down here to talk to you." Alexx looked amazing as she always did. I don't know how a woman can make purple scrubs look sexy everyday, but somehow Alexx managed to do it.

"What do you need baby?"

"Alexx... your little girl is growing up. I'm gunna be a mommy!!"

Alexx looked overjoyed. She couldn't stop smiling. She looked at me then at my tummy. "There's no way you are pregnant. Girl! Look at you! You are absolutely glowing."

"Alexx... there's one problem though. Calleigh believes... she believes I was raped... by Ryan." I couldn't continue on without letting the tears fall. They grazed my cheeks as I told Alexx everything that happened the night of the party. Everything that I remembered that night came flooding out of my mouth and I just couldn't stop.

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After I told Alexx everything she just stared at me. "Aww baby. I'm soo sorry that Ryan did this awful horrible thing to you. If you need anything, to talk or someone to listen or just to sit there while you cry, anything... I'm here for you."

As Alexx gave me a hug, I heard the doors open behind me. "Miss Boa Vista? Are you ok?"

I gasped. There was only one person who called me that. Lieutenant Horatio Caine. I wiped the tears from my eyes and turned around. "Hello Horatio. I'm fine. Just having a little bit of a bad day. I'll be ok."

"Miss Duquesne is looking for you. Asked me to have you meet her in firearms."

I nodded my head and headed for the door. "Thanks Alexx."

"Anytime baby."

And she stared giving her results to Horatio.

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**Ok i'm going to leave it there cuz i want you to review so I will update faster. Please r&r. Luv everyone. till nextime... Calleighgirl.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Happy New Year!!!!!! It's 2010!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So i figured in the spirit of the new year, I'd give you all an update sooner than I planed. I know that most of my chapters are very short & I'm sorry for that but that means that you'll wanna come back to see. :) So on with the story!!!!!**

As I walked to the elevator, silent tears grazed my cheeks as I thought of the sticky situation I had gotten myself into. I had mad a promise to myself that I would never let myself be vulnerable again. This situation... made me vulnerable. I didn't like it but I choose to deal with it like a big girl. The next time I saw Ryan I was going to tell him.

Calleigh was in her gun range so I stayed in the lab while she finished. I saw the ballistics report on the bullet that killed the girl in autopsy. I picked it up to read it.

"Hey. What are you doing?"

I jumped as Calleigh appeared in front of me.

"I was just reading your report for the girl that got murdered this morning. Sorry."

She smiled and I set the report down on the table.

"Horatio said that you were looking for me. What do you need?"

She smiled as she said, "Ok so you know that a lot of people are coming to the wedding. Practically the whole Vegas and New York labs are coming and I was talking to Lindsay and Stella today and... their hotel got over booked and they lost their room and I was thinking... that since you have two extra bedrooms in your apartment.. that they could possibly stay with you?"

I cocked my head sideways to look at her. "Why didn't you ask me that in the first place. They could have been saved the trouble and just stayed with me anyways. Of course they can stay at my apartment. What time are they getting here?"

Calleigh looked at her watch and said, "Well the flight from New York arrives in 20 minutes and Horatio is having a car sent over to pick them up and bring them here. The flight from Vegas gets here.... at 10 p.m. tonight."

I looked her and smiled. "I can't believe that you are getting married in 10 days!! I'm soo happy for you." I looked about ready to cry as I looked at my best friend.

"Don't start crying Talia because then I'm gunna start and then people will be wondering why we are crying and we'll both look weird cuz our makeup is smeared.... just don't start crying."

We both laughed as I sat there trying to hold the tears in. She gave me a big hug and they finally stopped.

"It's my hormones. They are all messed up because of the baby. I can't help it. Uggh this baby is giving me serious problems already. I'm gunna have to get a whole new wardrobe... get a ton of baby stuff... child proof my apartment... uggh. This is gunna be hard. Especially by myself."

Now it was her turn to give me a sideways look. "What do you mean 'by yourself?' I'm gunna be right here the whole time. I'm not going anywhere. I'm gunna help you shop and baby proof everything. It's gunna be hard, I know that, but I'm not going anywhere."

I smiled as she said that. It was nice to have reassurancethat I would have someone there to help. "Is Lindsay bringing Lucy? I haven't seen her yet but she looks adorable in the pictures Lindsay sent."

"I think she's bringing her. I hope so. I can't wait to see everyone. We all have never been in the same place at the same time. It's so exciting."

***

I was in my lab running DNA on cases that had taken a bit of a backseat to others. Every time I heard the elevator doors ding, I would look up hoping that they were here. Calleigh was working in the lab across from mine and saw me. I could hear her laughing at me from across the hall. I got her attention and stuck my tong out at her.

*Focus Talia. These cases have had to wait long enough because of us. We need to focus.*

I kept telling myself that as I continued to work. Calleigh was still laughing. I shook my head and stared to laugh too. Eric walked past us in the hallway and heard us laughing. He shook his head and said, "I'm not even going to ask!" as he walked into the trace lab.

*Ding* As I looked up I saw my best friend from college, Jesse Cardoza.

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**Sorry for the cliffy. I know how much that everyone was wanting Jesse to enter the story so I moved up his appearance a little. You are welcome. I know that in the shows only Calleigh, Horatio, Alexx, & Eric have met Catherine & Warrick from Vegas but in my story, they have been friends for a while. Hope everyone will r&r. Thanks for reading. Till next time... Calleighgirl.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey. So we got the new computer!! YAY!! Sorry it's taken me so long to update. Been really busy lately.**

_*Ding* As I looked up I saw my best friend from college, Jesse Cardoza._

I ran across the hall to the trace lab. I couldn't let Jesse see me. Things had ended badly between us.

I met Jesse in collage. I loved hanging out with him. We had had a fling and it turned into something more. He proposed to me... and I was afraid. Afraid of loosing him. I wasn't sure I could handle myself if I did loose him so I did the thing I was best at. I ran... came out to Miami. Worked for the FBI, then came to the lab.

I never regretted making the decision I did. I never turned back. Never thought about it. But seeing Jesse in Miami at MY crime lab... well, it brought up old memories. Good memories. I kinda missed him. But I couldn't get involved again. I'd been down that road before. I wasn't going back.

I managed to sneak out of the lab without Jesse seeing me. Thank goodness for that. I stepped outside to get some air. I couldn't breath in there. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't keep avoiding Jesse forever. I had to confront him eventually. It would be hard. I broke his heart. I knew that. I didn't try but... I couldn't face the reality of loosing him. I just stood there leaning against the side of MDPD. Hoping he wouldn't find me. Praying he wouldn't walk out those doors and spot me.

"Natallia?" I pushed off from the wall as soon as I heard my name. Lindsay and Stella were standing in front of me.

"Hey! You guys are here! How was your flight?" I tried to act as if nothing was wrong but I could tell that Stella saw right through my act.

"It was good. I slept most of the way here. But it was good. Mac and everyone else went inside but we saw you out here. Are you ok?" Stella asked.

I sighed. I wanted so bad to tell them. Just yell it at the top of my lungs. Just get it off my chest. I wanted to do that badly... but I couldn't risk it. Not yet. I would when the time was right, but that wasn't now. "Yeah. I'm fine. Just had a rough day today. Why don't we go in and see Eric and Calleigh?"

When we walked inside, Jesse was gone. I didn't know where he went but I was glad not to have to talk to him yet. Why was he even here? We had agreed he wouldn't try to find me. Hopefully he wasn't here to get me back. I wasn't sure if I was ready to confront my feelings for him again. Not when I was in such a vulnerable state. Not with a baby on the way. Eventually he would find out. I wouldn't be able to hide it from people for much longer. My belly was starting to grow. "Not much longer." I kept telling myself. "Not long at all."

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We were all at my apartment for Calleigh's bachellorette party. I had made sure it would be one she would never forget. No strippers of any sort or anything like that. Just a simple slumber party with all of our friends. There was plenty of food and drinks, lots of room, good music, and my best friend.

we were lying on the floor when the morning sickness hit me. I got up and ran to the bathroom. I hoped no one had followed. I rinsed out my mouth and washed my face before I dared enter back into the world of the oblivious. I opened the door and walked out.

"So how far along are you?" Lindsay was standing to my right.

"Wha- I don't know what you mean." I tried to play it cool.

I could feel Lindsay's eyes on me as I said, "Five weeks. I don't want anyone to find out. Please don't tell."

Lindsay hugged me and whispered in my ear, "Congratulations. You'll be a wonderful mother.

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We had run out of things to talk about. Everyone had caught up and we were sitting on the floor, wondering what to say next. I took a deep breath, turned to Calleigh and said, "I think it's time I told everyone." She nodded her head.

"I agree. Go ahead. I'm right here."

Everyone looked confuzed as Calleihg and I had a silent conversation. I stood up and looked at all the girls.

"Umm... I have one thing that I'd like to share with everyone." I turned to Calleigh once more. She gave me the go ahead sign. "Umm.. girls, I don't know how to tell you this but... I'm pregnant.

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**OOOOOOOOO. What's gunna happen next??!!! Tune in next time for the exciting adventure of.... ok that was a little strange. ANYWAYS... I'll try to update regularly now that we have the new computer. As allways... ~Calleighgirl~**


	8. Chapter 8

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**Hey. Sorry it's taken me so long to update. Been really busy lately. Have two papers due monday. :P GROSS!!! I hate school.

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_"Umm... I have one thing that I'd like to share with everyone." I turned to Calleigh once more. She gave me the go ahead sign. "Umm.. girls, I don't know how to tell you this but... I'm pregnant._

I had received hugs from all of my friends. They had asked who the father was and I hesitated. Most of the guests where CSIs but... could they handle the situation when it was me? I didn't want to take that chance. "It's complicated but I promise I'll tell you sometime."

If they didn't like my response... well i didn't know what to tell them. I had told the story too many times to repeat it. Not when the wedding was so close. This party was supposed to be for Calleigh. I hated that she had let me turn it into all about me but that's the person Calleigh was. She was more concerned with my happiness and my safety than with her own.

I couldn't sleep that night. Too many thoughts running through my head. By the morning I had decided that I would not rind out the sex of my baby when it came to that time. I would love the baby no matter what and would not hold Ryan to his mistake because he had given me my mirical. He had given me what Nick couldn't. What I dare not have with Nick or Eric. And when I was ready, Ryan had given me the thing I had wanted the most. I should have been mad at him, and I was to an extent, but... Ryan gave me a baby.

**xXxXx**

"What do you mean you haven't told Horatio yet? Natalia Boa Vista!!"

I shouldn't have told Calleigh that I was afraid to tell H. I should have let it go. We were standing in the break room staring at each other. I had walked in to get water. The girls had gone trough my hose and taken everything that had any ounce of caffeine in it. I was already craving food. I didn't know how I could go without caffeine. I had notice Calleigh at the counter looking over a magazine and had mentioned that I hadn't told H. A lot of good that did me. Now she was lecturing me on the effects of not telling our boss.

"I'll do it! I promise. I just don't want to yet because of the wedding. I see no point in making H mad at me while you are gone and no one is here to protect me."

I thought it best to make light of the situation considering Calleigh usually forgave me after that. This time I wasn't too sure but I put on my big girl panties and I delt with the consequences.

"You are damn right you will! I'm not going to have something happen to you and I'm the only one who knows. I already have enough to worry about."

"I'm sorry Calleigh. I really am. But will you still go with me to get baby stuff and clothes? We should go soon cuz I'm almost growing out of all of my clothes. It's really bad. This shirt was the only one that fit me this morning. I was pissed. We could go shopping tonight and get somoething for me to where. I'd love that."

She couldn't help but smile. I could change the topic faster that anyone I knew. It worked to my advantage most of the time. Others... not so well. "Ok. I guess we could do that. I don't have to work tomorrow so we could spensd the day at the mall. Maybe go get a pedicure or go to the spa. I'd like that." She gave me a wide grin as I turned to head back to my DNA lab.

I had a pile of DNA to analyze. I put on my i-Pod and got to work. As I was working, my favorite song came on.

**Konvict**  
**Akon & Whitney, yeah**  
**(Ohh yeah)**

**Did you ever wish you could take back something that you did in your past**  
**If it wasn't for me I know what we had was definitely gonna last**  
**I admit that we say some things we don't mean when we're mad**  
**But I realized that I've been foolish, I never should have turned my back**

**Cuz it's a cold world when you're out there all alone**  
**So many times that I wanted to just pick up the phone**  
**And tell you ooh baby, baby I missed your lovin' so**  
**I ain't holding back no more, your girl is coming home**

**(And I want you to love me) Like I never left**  
**(And I want you to hold me) Like I never left**  
**(And I want you to touch me) Like I never left**  
**(Come give me what I'm missing, yeah) Like I never left, yeah**

**Do you think we can pick up where we left before the day**  
**That I told you it was over, packed my things and moved away**  
**Cuz I see that without you my world is just an empty place**  
**Taking one step away from you feels like a million miles away**

**Cuz it's a cold world when you're out there all alone**  
**So many times I just wanted to pick up the phone**  
**And tell you ooh baby, baby I missed your lovin' so**  
**But I ain't holding back no more, cuz your man is coming home, yeah**

**(And I want you to love me, yeah) Like I never left**  
**(And I want you to hold me) Like I never left**  
**(And I want you to touch me baby) Like I never left**  
**(Come give me what I'm missing, ohhh) Like I never left, yeah**

**I had enough, I miss you bad**  
**What I did, leave in the past**  
**Yes, your girl is coming back**  
**Like I never left (Ohhh)**

**Said back in the building, back on the block**  
**You and me together, we back on top**  
**Kind of love we got, it just don't stop**  
**Like I never left**

**I had enough, I miss you bad (I'm missing you bad)**  
**What I did, leave in the past (Yeah)**  
**Yes, your girl is coming back**  
**Like I never left (I'm coming back home boy)**

**Said back in the building, back on the block (I'm coming back home boy)**  
**You and me together, we back on top (Yeah, yeah, oh)**  
**Kind of love we got, it just don't stop**  
**Like I never left**

**(And I want you to touch me) Like I never left**  
**(And I want you to hold me) Like I never left**  
**(And I want you to love me baby) Like I never left**  
**(Come give me what I'm missing, yeah) Like I never left, yeah**

**Oh baby, come love me, come hold me, come touch me, come give me**  
**Like I never left you (I never left you baby)**  
**Oh baby, come love me, come hold me, come touch me, come give me**  
**Like I never left you (I never left you baby)**

The song made me think of everything that had happened in my past. The one man I had loved... I walked away from. If i ever got the chance with him again... I would make the right choice this time.

"Nat?" I looked up from my computer, put my i-Pod on pause and turned face to face with the man I wanted to see.

"Jesse... what are you doing here?"

He moved close to me and grabbed my head with his hands. Before I knew what was happening, Jesse Cardoza was kissing me.

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**OOOOOOOOO. What's gunna happen next??!!! the song is "Like I Never Left" by Whitney Huston and Akon. I'll try to write the wedding for the next chapter!!!! I know everyone has been waiting for it! I'll try to update regularly. Sorry this chapter is so short. What is up with Natalia being in like every other episode of Miami??!! It's kinda making me angery. We need to see more between her and Jesse. Oh well. As allways... ~Calleighgirl~**


	9. Chapter 9

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**Hey. Sorry it's taken me so long to update. Been really busy lately. Finally finished me english paper. The day that it was due!

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_He moved close to me and grabbed my head with his hands. Before I knew what was happening, Jesse Cardoza was kissing me._

"Jesse! I can't do this. You know that." He looked at me with anger and sadness in his eyes. I wanted him so bad but I couldn't put the past behind me. He turned without saying a word and left my lab. No. He was not going to turn me into the bad guy. I did what I had to do. I ran after him and finally caught up with him in the parking garage.

"Jesse!" He turned back to look at me. I got close to him. "I- I just can't. Not right now. I just have some things to work out right now."

He shook his head. "Talia, you always have things going on in your life. It's always one thing after another. When is it going to stop?" I could feel the words rip through my body. They stung for a long time. How dare he bring up the past. Those were things I couldn't control. He knew that.

"Jes- this is different. I just cant do this now. Not with the wedding and the baby-" I didn't want him to find out like that. Crap! He looked confuzed. I stood there waiting for the reaction I knew was coming, only... it didn't come. I looked up to see my best friend walking away from me. I guess it was his turn to walk away.

I ran to catch up to him. Calling after him. He never turned around. I grabbed his arm to stop him and he swung his arm around to get me to let go. I felt his hand hot on my cheek. I couldn't believe he had hit me. Tears started to form in my eyes as I looked to the one person that had been my constant. My everything. I couldn't believe...

"Oh my gosh! Talia.. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hit you." The first words he had spoken to me since he got here. Too bad I didn't hear a word of it. I turned away from him as he tried to get me to look at him. I couldn't let him see the tears fall. It was hard. I tried for as long as I could not to cry but my hormones were in overdrive. I could taste the salt as the tears streamed down my face. I turned and ran back into CSI.

Opening my locker, I stared at the picture I had taped to the inside. I couldn't make out the features yet but just looking at the picture calmed me down a bit. I could still taste the tears as I couldn't stop them from flowing.

I jumped as I heard my name. "Miss Boa Vista. Are you alright?" I had just closed my locker, tears still fresh on my cheeks, and Horatio was stamding in front of me. I didn't hear him walk in. But then again, we never did.

"Horatio... Can we talk? I have to tell you something." He knoded his head yes. I took a deep breath before I continued. "Horatio... The night of Calleigh and Eric's engagement party, Ryan handed me some drinks... several actually, and the next morning... I was home and I don't remember how I got there. I don't reamember anything from that night. And... um... now....." He looked at me. I was trying not to cry again. Not in front of my boss.

"Now you're pregnant aren't you?" I shook my head and let the tears fall. I didn't care anymore. All of my burden was off. I had confronted my boss. One of the two people I knew I had to confront. It was half over. I felt his arms wrap around me and I let myself be embraced.

NBVNBVNBNVNBNBVNBV

I had returned to my lab, comforted by H. I tried to focus on my work. I stood up to run down to autopsy to get Alexx's report. I quickly walked to the elivator and went to talk to Alexx.

After I got the report, I quickly turned around to leave. Alexx called me back. "Did you talk to Horatio sweetheart? He needs to know right away." I nodded to Alexx that I had. She saw that I was having difficulty with the dicision. "Natalia, you know that my door is always open. You can call me if you need to talk and I'm sure Calleigh is there if you need her too."

I smiled at Alexx. "Thanks. I know I can talk to you guys. I should really get this report to Calleigh. I'll see you later?" She nodded and I truned back to leave.

"Alexx just finished the post on your victim. I needed to talk to her anyways so I brought up the report with me."

"Thanks babe. You didn't have to do that. I was on my way down to get it. Is something wrong? I saw you earlier with Jesse."

My cheeks got hot as I blushed. "How much did you see?" She looked at me. She had seen everything in the lab. I had to explain.

"Do you remember when I told you about my boyfriend before Nick? The one I was really serious about. Well... it was Jesse. I left him because I was sick of waiting for him to come around. I moved to Miami, met Nick, fell in love.... you know how that turned out. Jesse is still mad about me leaving and thinks that he can magically make everything better. He kissed me. I turned him down and he ran out to the garage. I followed him to explain. I told him about the baby, it just slipped out. He turned to walk away from me again and I ran after him. When I grabbed him... he swung his hand around and he slapped me..."

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**OOOOOOOOO. What's gunna happen next??!!! Should I write the wedding for the next chapter?? I still have more drama that I could add with Natalia and Jesse if you want. I wrote another story. It's very dramatic. I need to know if I shoud make it a one-shot or continue it!! HELP!!!!!!! Please r&r. As always... ~Calleighgirl~**

**ooooo. p.s. This story is offically dedicated to Smacked4eva!!! LOVE YA BABE!!!!!!!!!!**


	10. Chapter 10

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**Hey. Sorry it's taken me so long to update. Been really busy lately. But that's the way life gets.**

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Eric Delko looked into his bride's eyes and I could see the passion as he finally kissed her. In that moment Calleigh Duquesne became Calleigh Duquesne-Delko. It was everything I thought it would be except for one small detail... Jesse kept staring at me the whole ceremony. I finally got to confront him as we walked back down the isle to the back room.

"Why are you staring at me?" I whispered between my teeth. He looked at me and just smiled. To be honest, I was a bit afraid of what he might say and when he'd say it. When we got into the back room he looked at me and I knew what he was going to do. I shot him a warning glance.

"Jesse... please don't do this."

"Sorry Talia. I couldn't help stare at you and wonder what you are going to look like when you're five months pregnant." He announced my dark secret to the whole room. Everyone looked at me.

"You bastard! You couldn't have saved that comment for another day? This day is not about you or me. Why-" I could feel the tears streaming down my face as I turned to Calleigh and Eric. "I'm so sorry." I stated and ran out of the room.

**NBVNBVNBVNBV**

"Natalia? Everyone is going to the reception now. Are you coming?" I heard Stella's voice form over the bathroom stall. I unlocked the door and walked out. I had just spent the last 40 minutes in the stall, 15 of those throwing up. Still hadn't gotten over my morning sickness.

"I'm ok now so I'll be out in a few minutes." Stella could see right though my game.

"Sweetie, you're obviously not ok. Tell me what happened. Why would Jesse do something like this?"

I sighed. "One mistake. He blames me for one mistake that I made when we were together." Stella looked confused as I knew she would be. "He blames me for loosing our first baby. He'd be six by now but I-" The tears streamed down my face once again. "I went to a scene in California and the suspect smacked me with a two-by-four and I lost the baby. It was my fault. I hadn't cleared the scene and I didn't think about it. It's my fault the baby is gone."

"It's not your fault sweetheart. You did everything you could to protect that baby. I know you. I know you did everything and you fought like hell to save him. You couldn't have known that the suspect was going to do that and Jesse is wrong for blaming you. I'm so sorry sweetheart. I didn't know that you had to go through that." Stella's embrace was warm and comforting. I broke down in her arms. I couldn't stop. I fell to the ground trying to catch my breath. It escaped me every time I tried to find it.

"Natalia, look at me. You have to calm down. It's no good for your baby. I know that you are feeling alone and hurt and Jesse being here brings up bad memories for you but you need to think of this." Stella held the ultra-sound picture of my baby in front of my face. I looked at my baby and thought about all the things that I never got to have with Jesse. I didn't want to hurt my chances this time. It calmed me down thinking of all the things I would do differently this time.

I got up and brushed my orange bridesmaid dress off from all the dirt and looked to Stella. She smiled slightly at me and held out her hand. I took it in mine and we walked out of the bathroom together.

"I found her. She was in the bathroom. We're ready to go now."

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**What's gunna happen next??!!! I still have more drama that I could add with Natalia and Jesse if you want. HELP!!!!!!! Please r&r. As always... ~Calleighgirl~**

**ooooo. p.s. This story is officially dedicated to Smacked4eva!!! LOVE YA BABE!!!!!!!!!!**


	11. Chapter 11

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**Hey. Sorry it's taken me so long to update. Been really busy lately. But that's the way life gets.**

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_"I found her. She was in the bathroom. We're ready to go now."_

The car ride to the receptin was filled with meaningless talk about things at the lab. No one brought up my situation. Possibly because I was distancing myself from them or perhaps they thought it best to give me some space. Either way I wound up staring out the window for most of the ride.

Whe we got there, I put on my best happy face and sucked all my emotions into my core. I would be happy for my two best friends. This day was about them and their happyness. I would have all the next day to mope about my house.

**NBVNBVNBVNBVNBV**

After the cermony started, I went in search of Ryan. I found him flirting with some hot blond by the dessert table. He didn't acknowledge that I had walked up to him... if he even saw me. I tapped on his shoulder and he turned around. "Can we talk?"

He followed me outside to the patio and I sat on a bench. "So... you know about the baby don't you?" He nodded. "Well... its yours but I'm not expecting anything from you and if you don't want it, I'll take care of the baby by myself. I'm not giving my baby up for adoption. I will take care of it and I want to."

He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Is that all?"

I stared at him in shock. "Uh- yeah I guess... but-"

I was quickly cut off by him turning around and heading back into the reception leaving me and my emotions on the bench.

**NBVNBVNBVNBV**

I decided to head out early so I told Calleigh and Eric congrats and headed for the door... only to be stopped by Jesse.

"I want to talk to you Talia. I want to apologize for my behavior today and earlier this week. I- I have no excuse for what I did and... I'm really sorry."

I was shocked. Was this the same man who I had encountered preveously that day? Was this the same man I had fallen in love with years ago and again recently? Was this the man I envisioned have kids with, raising a family together? It finally was. In that moment I realized that he had been hiding in a mask that he put on. A mask that portrayed that he never cared and that he didn't love me. But he did and allways did.

"I forgive you Jesse. And I'm sorry that I did all those horrible thing to you in the past. Can we maybe... start over? A clean beging? New start? I'll go first. Hi, my name is Natalia Boa Vista and I'm going to have a baby in 33 weeks and I'm currently madly in love with a man named Jesse. your turn."

He smiled at me and stated, "My name is Jesse Cardoza. I can be a real jerk sometimes and I'm also madly in love with someone. Her name is Natalia and she's going to have a baby soon."

I smiled as he took my hand in his and walked me to my car. "Did you want to come over tonight? Yo ucould follow in your car or we could ride ogether and I could drive you back." I prompted. I really wanted to catch up with him and really start clean.

"Sure. I'll follow you if that's ok with you." I smiled and nodded my head.

"Sounds good."

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**What's gunna happen next??!!! HELP!!!!!!! Please r&r. As always... ~Calleighgirl~**


	12. Chapter 12

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**Ok so I'm going to be posting how many weeks Natalia is so don't get confuzed! I'll be skipping a few weeks.**

By the end of Week 10, your baby graduates from embryo to fetus. Other highlights this week:  
Your baby now has discernible fingers and toes, which will explain the steady stream of kicks and punches you'll feel down the line. Junior's skeleton is starting to grow and harden. The ears are beginning to take shape and the eyelids are no longer transparent. Tooth buds are forming. Baby's brain will make an incredible 25,000 new neurons every minute this week. Baby weighs only 4 grams and measures 1½ inches, about the size of a mondo Brazil nut.

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_

_"Push Natalia! I can see his head! Your almost there." I screamed as I brought my baby into the worl. He was wraped into a blanket and handed to me. I looked down at him. So perfect until I saw his face. He had Ryan's face over his own. I screamed-_

I sat strait up in my bed. It was only a dream... thank goodness. I glanced at the clock. 4:30 am. Too early to get ready for another day of Ryan ignoring me and Calleigh and Eric not being in the lab. They were still on their honeymoon... I thought back to the night of the wedding... three weeks. It was three weeks ago that I felt safe for the first time at night. Jesse had spent the night. We had stayed up talking and catching up on

the last 6 years. I had eventually fallen asleep after telling him where my bedroom was and giving him permission to spend the night... in the same bed. He spent the night right next to me. His arm wrapped around my waist, protecting the baby. Protecting me.

I managed to fall back to slep until 6:45 when I got up to make a call.

*Hello?*

"Hey Jes. It's me. I knkow that it's early but I wanted to know if you wanted to get breakfast with me? We could meet at the cafe down by my place. If you're up to it..."

*Um.. yeah. Let me get dressed and I'll meet you down there in five?*

I smiled inwardly "Sounds great. See you then." I hung up the phone and went to go get dressed.

"Hey Jesse. I'm glad you agreed to meet me here. I'm sorry its so early. I couldn't sleep."

He shook his head. "No problem babe. Why couldn't you sleep?"

I smiled. He had called me babe. It had been a while since I heard him call me that. It was nice. "I had a weird dream... it was about the baby. I was delivering it and he had Ryan's face. It was creepy and I really didn't want to dream that again."

He looked at me. "Well that seems like a good reason. Oh did I tell you the good news?" I shook my head. "Horatio got me a job at the lab. I start today."

I was shocked. Jesse would be working with me? Well... we would have to tell Horatio about us... if there was an "us." I didn't even know how to describ our relationship. It had gotten so complicated over the past years that it was hard to distinguish it for myself. I hoped there was an us but I couldn't be sure. I had to ask Jesse.

"What are you thinking about? You look wraped up in your own world." I looked at Jesse. I guess I had spaced out.

"Sorry. I was just wondering... is there.. an"us?" I mean, are we together cus if we are, we'll have to tell H when you start today. I don't see how Stetler could have a problem with it. I mean... if we _are _a thing then it would have started outside of work so it's not reall fraternization in the workplace is it? But I think I'm getting ahead of myself. First... is there an us?"

He looked into my eyes and leaned across the table. He held my hand and kissed my cheek. "Of course there's an us silly girl. There allways has been and I don't think there ever won't. I told you at the wedding... I'm in love with you Natalia. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and when the time is right, I will give you a ring. I would give it to you now but we only just started dating again so... if you really love me and won't leave me before I have a chance to get the ring out of my pocket-"

"Wait, you carry it around with you? How long have you been doing that?"

"Well... honestly, three weeks but I've had it longer than that. So as I was saying... Natalia Boa Vista, I know that you are having another man's baby and that he is too much of a dickweed to realize that he's missing out on such an amazing woman, but I would like the honor of filling his spot in you r heart. Will you marry me?"

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**What's gunna happen next? HELP! Please r&r. As always... ~Calleighgirl~**


	13. Chapter 13

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**Ok so I'm going to be posting how many weeks Natalia is so don't get confuzed! I'll be skipping a few weeks.**

**14 weeks:**

You're a third of the way through and baby's a third of the way cooked. Now that the "big stuff" (like skeletal and organ development) is taken care of, your baby starts a period of rapid brain growth, fat buildup and detail work.

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_"Natalia Boa Vista, I know that you are having another man's baby and that he is too much of a dickweed to realize that he's missing out on such an amazing woman, but I would like the honor of filling his spot in you r heart. Will you marry me?"_

One month. It had taken us one month to get everything perfect. I was surprized that Jesse could pull off a wedding in a month. Of course, it wouldn't be as big as Calleigh and Eric's, but I was fine with that. Besides, after things got settled in the lab, we would be having a bigger cerimony. That would be coming later though. Right in that instance I just wanted Jesse. To be his wife ment the world to me and I wanted it to happen quickly. So that day in the cafe', the day he proposed, we went to the lab and told everyone. We though Stetler would ruin it for us... but he had other things to worry about.

We decided that same night, that we would get married as soon as we could without going to city hall. There is nothing wrong with city hall, but for my- our wedding I wanted something better. I wanted all of our friends and family there. I had my parents fly in from Arizona and Jesse's parents came from California. Everything was set. Everything was perfect.

I managed to squeeze my body into my wedding dress that I had fitted the week before. My bump had grown so fast. I was just getting over my cravings and morning sickness. Jesse stayed with me through all of it. It was the nicest thing anyone had done. He put up with all my complaining and whining about the baby and about the wedding. He took over the plans when I was too fed up with the world to do them; and he still managed to do his job everyday and have time to spend with me. I loved this man. For everything he did for me and the baby.... For everything.

Calleigh looked so beautiful in her red sun dress. Since the wedding was such short notice, I let all the bridal party choose their own outfit within the color scheme provided. The dresses were to be a red of some sort and the tux were to be dark brown. I loved my dress so much. I hoped that when I got my figure back after baby that I would be able to wear it again.

I never really understood why brides cried on their way down the isle till I experienced it myself. Hearing the music we had picked out, _Angel_ by Amanda Perez, was so mystifying. Feeling everyone's eyes on me whle I looked to Jesse. His smile was so bright and loving. I couldn't look at him without letting the tears start to flow down my cheeks. My dad squeezed my hand tightly to let me know that he would allways be there for me.

As my dad handed my hand to Jesse, he placed a kiss on my cheek. I would allways be his little girl and t was hard for him to let me go. He loved Jesse but he knew that I had had my heart broken by him before. I took Jesse's hand in mine and turned to face him. I smiled and whispered, "Hi. Long time no see huh?" He smiled and nodded his head. Then began the vows.

"I do." I could barely hear myself speak the words I had wanted to from the moment the whole ceremony started. But I did. I said them and I ment them.

"I do." Jesse's words were a bit louder than my own but not by much. We shared a look before we heard the words, "You may now kiss your bride." Jesse did just that. It was magical and passionate. I didn't want to tear myself away but we had to. there were other people there. My husband- husband, such a magical word... anyways, he took my hand and we ran down the isle together for the first time as husband and wife. It was amazing...

_

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**What's gunna happen next? Please r&r. As always... ~Calleighgirl~**

**Preview: Natalia and Jesse have a doctors apointment and learn that they are in for a bit more than they bargined for...**

The lins for the dress and the rings is on my profile page if you wanna check those out. :)


	14. Chapter 14

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**Ok so I'm going to be posting how many weeks Natalia is so don't get confuzed! I'll be skipping a few weeks.**

**14 weeks:**

You're a third of the way through and baby's a third of the way cooked. Now that the "big stuff" (like skeletal and organ development) is taken care of, your baby starts a period of rapid brain growth, fat buildup and detail work.

* * *

_My husband- husband, such a magical word... anyways, he took my hand and we ran down the isle together for the first time as husband and wife. It was amazing..._

**That same night: **

The guests were finally gone and I was alone with my husband…my husband, the thought of it made me chuckle softly.

"What is it?" Jesse asked with a smile. I turned to look at him. He had already taken off his jacket and tie and unbuttoned his shirt, leaving his gorgeously sculpted body in full view.

"I just thought of you as my husband, I'm going to have to get used to that…but I like it." I smiled at him.

"It's great, isn't it?" He said turning to face me. A smiled crossed his lips and I couldn't help but grin when I saw his dimples dig into his cheeks. "I have a little something planned for you." he added with a grin.

"You do?" I asked. He nodded and pushed play on the radio. I smiled as the romantic song filled the room. He walked up to me and wrapped both his arms around my waist.

"We're going to be happy Natalia…you, me and the baby." He said placing his hands on my hips. I nodded with a wide smile, wrapping my arms around his neck. We gently swayed to the music, his forehead against mine. I let out a small giggle as Jesse began whispering the words to the song to me.

"I love you Natalia." He said placing his lips against mine.

"I love you, too Jesse." I said. I placed my hands on his lower neck and pulled his head down for a passionate kiss. I felt his hands move up my back and his fingers attack my zipper. He slowly pulled it down and I couldn't help but sigh as I felt the tight dress release its hold on me, I could breathe.

"You're so beautiful." He sighed looking down at my light blue underwear. He slid his hands over my shoulders, down over my growing belly before pulling my hips to his. He captured my lips again in a passionate kiss, running his tongue over my lower lip, begging for entry…that I granted happily. I duelled with his tongue for dominance and then slowly ran it along the inside of his mouth. Jesse had a taste all his own, one I could barely resist. He was sweet and sultry, like a dark chocolate but with a touch of something that was purely Cardoza. I tangled my fingers in the hair at the base of his neck, pulling him closer. He gently pushed me towards the bed and lay me onto it. He removed his shirt and climbed over me.

"Let the fun begin." He grinned leaning forward to kiss me again. I placed my hands on the strong muscles of his back and gently pulled him closer. I couldn't wait for our honeymoon, to be alone with him, far away from home.

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**Please r&r. As always... ~Calleighgirl~ Oh! and thanks to my awsome friend Kate Robberts for writting this chapter! You rock! Thank you soooo much! **

**Preview: Natalia and Jesse have a doctors apointment and learn that they are in for a bit more than they bargined for... oooo ;)**


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